Saturday, May 1, 2010

Affirmation of a Blog Name

While I'd like to believe that my blog name is somewhat original, a quick search shows that multiple others of larger carriage have taken a liking to the "Fat Man Running" theme. Most of these sites focus on a plump gent documenting the journey to their "inner skinny guy" or who has "aspirations of losing weight while completing a marathon". I'd love to report that these blogs often end in great success, but I'd be lying. The Fat Man Running life is a tough one to live for more than a few ambitious months at a time.

Luckily, my Fat Man Running theme is not fly-by-night - I've been a fat runner since I became a man. This, of course, is arguable. My mother will always claim I'm too skinny (she once told me this at 255 lbs while I squeezed into 42" jeans), skilled runners may call my stride more of a waddle (I prefer an awkward gait), and my brothers love to remind me that my manhood is questionable at best.

With such misguided accusations of a healthy BMI, choppy strides and flowing effeminacy, I needed a sign that I was in fact a Fat Man Running. Something that says "this is so unique to your situation that it would bare your name if it were any less common." Something that affirms gender, body composition and activity level with one fell swoop. Something...sexy!

Instead, I got injured. With only 1/2 mile left in the Scotland Run 10k an injury struck me with such force that doctors had to give it the least intimidating name possible so as to avoid panic at its' mere utterance. Yes, I'm talking about plantar fasciitis.

Now don't let fancy Latin sounding names diminish the seriousness of this issue. Plantar fasciitis travels with it's friend - Excruciating Pain - sometimes as high as a 5 or 6 on the pain scale (roughly between a cat scratching your leg and a really bad migraine). Even worse, the main course of treatment is rest - not something that I do well when the sun is shining and races abound.

Luckily there is a golden lining in plantar fasciitis - the affirmation I was desiring (yes - this is what I worry about these days). Something to prove my manhood. My running. My truly being a big fat fatty. Scientific proof that I was a Fat Man Running in the form of common causes of plantar fasciitis:
  1. Active men (normally 40-70, but I'll take what I can get)
  2. Running
  3. Obesity
Some may argue that such proof may bring at least one of my questionable traits under further scrutiny, but I'm just happy that I now have hard evidence to fall upon when discussing my moniker of choice.