Day 3 - Bryce: An Adventure at Every Turn

If Zion is an epic sledgehammer of awe that blows you away with many of the same views over and over, Bryce is it’s trickier cousin who beats you into submission with a new super slap around every turn to make sure you love every moment of it. 

For our day at Bryce, we decided to do what all wise folks do and blindly follow a write up found on the internet - and boy did we luck out! Not only did the Climb Utah site provide spot on directions, but it gave us exactly what we needed in a hike - 3 enjoyable hours with constantly changing scenery ending up in a perfect 6 mile loop. Among the joys of the combo Navajo, Peekaboo and Queens Garden trails were:

• Storms EVERYWHERE - Apparently Utah is no stranger to off and on storms that will leave you soaked one minute and nearly dry the next. Bryce makes these even better as you can see miles in each direction, meaning full rays of sunshine to your left, lighting striking straight ahead and hail pouring down to your right. Getting wet wasn’t fun, but the overall views were great.

• Leg Day! - Canyons always irritate me a bit because you save the hardest part - the climb - for the end. Bryce was a bit different as the Peekaboo trail was a constant up and down and the exit to Sunrise point was significantly more gradual than expected.

• Panoramas - I’ve never stopped for more photos on a hike than today. Every turn was a new alien land that needed to be documented so I could torture family friends over cocktails like a 1970s couple who just drove to Disney for the first time. Enjoy.

• Great Signs - Who doesn’t love wooden signs that are a bit over bearing? I found one in particular that need to be in my home for when semi-unwanted house guests arrive.

Having fully enjoyed a solid mid-day of hiking we returned to town and checked in to our ultra lux teepee. Funny thing about those things - there is a big ass hole in the top that in the right conditions (a light rain for example) will allow just enough water in for discomfort. Being the chubby version of McGeyver that I am, this was quickly solved with a tent tarp that upgraded to the native version of a double wide.

To wrap up a post that is relatively nice to other travelers, I leave you with these thoughts:

1. The Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) put millions to work and made great strides in connecting humans with mother nature in a somewhat non-destructive way. Also, this was a super socialistic program, so please bitch slap any dumb ass that ever slanders government work programs without giving some credit where it is due.
2. If you pay for a buffet but instead opt for the omelette station, you’re a bad person. In all likelihood you don’t fully understand lines, queues, waiting your turn or the speed and simplicity benefits that actually drive you to a buffet in the first place. Also, save $4 and order the omelette from the kitchen…do you really need to stand over the chef while staring down those next to you in one of the most pathetic power trips known to man?
3. I love awkwardness. Not to name names, but a travel companion of mine had the following exchange that I absolutely adored (for all the wrong reasons) today:

Traveler: “Do you have blabbidy boo?” (Or something similar)
Waitress: “No, what is it?”
Traveler: “It’s what Mormons drink instead of coffee”
Waitress: “Well I’m Mormon and I’ve never heard of it”
Editor’s note: This enough would tide me over in the awkwardness department, but one final line really made me appreciate the awkwardness effort…Traveler: “Really? Because that’s what they drank on Big Love on HBO.”
At this point, we saw the waitress exactly three more times: To take our order, to deliver our order and to leave our check. She was very cordial, but also very obviously getting ready to shoot the next tourist that referenced the one thing about Mormonism that they knew on tv.