Like Woah and OMFG

Despite what some may think, I don't squeal like a school girl on Valentine's day very often. Sure, I may perk up when Carolina signs another All American or I solve a problem on Project Euler, but rarely does an audible screech escape from my lips.

This was not the case early last evening. An event of such great historical importance, epic proportions and unpredictability was announced that had anyone dared dream of it, they would have been engulfed in a straight jacket and whisked away to a state run rehabilitation facility in a matter of seconds.

No, Bill O'Reilly has not admitted that his show is done in jest. Nor has Fox "News" fessed up to being little more than entertainment for the feeble minded. And god no, I'm not getting married (again).

In fact, it was announced that MySpace is going to broadcast the first Ben Folds Five reunion in nearly a decade from their old stomping grounds (and mine) - Chapel Hill. If you've never been engulfed in giddiness, elation, and euphoria all at once, you should try it. It's like having a million little fingers massage your whole body while nude angels frolic in a baby oil pool for which you are the life guard.

Add this great news to the fact that fall is quickly descending upon us, Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks, I have two great Fantasy Football teams and MiaManda is surprising me with an early birthday present this week and the last couple of days have been quite fun despite the best efforts of life's little PITAs.

A couple one liners for ya:

• If your water heater has a 6 year warranty, be assured that it will explode at 6 years and 2 months.
  
• Golf is addicting. Even more so if you're awful.
• If anyone needs to get in touch with Satan herself, let me know. I have that pain in the ass' contact info.
• I propose that the AL MVP vote is fixed so as to allow Pedroia and Youkilis to split it.
• The mop top has gone about 4 months without so much as a trim. Don't worry, I'm still stunningly handsome.
• The poison ivy is finally gone. Please do enjoy my documentation of it's disgustingness.
  

Finally, a little teaser to get you to check back in a few days. There will soon be photo evidence of pussy-whipped-ness to a degree which has never been seen before. Not to spoil the surprise, but it involves fantasy football, co-managers and official team uniforms...