Finally Growing a Pair

As some of you may know, I'm a bit weak when it comes to standing up for myself. In what I consider a very unfunny joke, I believe my parents sat down soon after my birth and decided that they should produce two humanesque creatures who they would breed with the sole purpose of using me as a verbal and physical sparring partner. Luckily, I'm fairly jovial when it comes to such activities and am able to take most of it in good fun.

Over the last several years I've come to realize that while such activities are entertaining among family members (the blood type, not those you are legally bound to until the NH judicial system grants you that sweet, sweet taste of freedom), it is not so good when dealing with most other people. In fact, a certain cell phone company (which rhymes with 'Mint') recently decided to extend my service plan for over a year without my consent. Normally, you are at their mercy and have no recourse other than days spent screaming on the phone at low paid customer service reps, so I was not optimistic about my original end date being hononred.

Luckily I found this equivalents to this particular carrier's thermal exhaust port - the Better Business Bureau and the FCC. It turns out that both companies act as watchdogs over the cell phone industry and don't take kindly to activities which pry on individual consumers. Less than 24 hours after fililng complaints with both organizations, not only was my original contract honored, but an apology was provided and all blame was accepted by the carrier at hand.

So the long and short of it is, honor your end of the contract and you have people in your corner to help ensure the big bad cell phone companies honor theirs.

Up next: Off to Portland for Halloween to act as an idiot savant who loves kitties and lives in random structures with great degrees of mobility...

Big Birthday Thanks!

I figured I should give a shout out to everyone that helped with my kick ass birthday weekend. It was by far the best since the infamous 13 year old ball of rotundness that was me did a seated shirtless dance on video resulting in still jiggling moobs

So for everyone that texted, left facebook messages, sent emails or gave phone calls - Thanks!

Special thanks to Hayes, Brett and MiaManda for plying me with five dollar pitchers, a perfect view of the mechanical bull, and by far the best homemade cake ever. This 43,521 calorie creation of pure pumpkin spice and peanut butter deliciousness may never be topped (or leave my colon).

Deliciousness by MiaManda

Don't Stop Believing

The MLB post season is amazing. Money and egos go out the window and everything comes down to who plays better, harder, smarter and makes fewer mistakes.

Unfortunately, with the MLB post season comes the many irritants that seem to repeat themselves year after year after year. Here are the things that have begun to chap my arse this post season:

Baseball Tonight without Harold Reynolds

I know, I know. He was allegedly slapping asses and grabbing the ladies down in Bristol and deserved to be fired. But really, Gammons, Kruk, Kurkjian and Ravich have tried to fill the hole he left with no luck. I'd wish that we were back in the 60s so such actions could be swept under the carpet, but the same ignorance that allowed sexual harassment would have also kept him off tv.

Unenthusiastic Players

I've never held back my great displeasure with J.D. Drew. He is lazy, always hurt, slammed by La Russa and is as charismatic as my refrigerator. Just moments ago he hit a walk off single to top off a come back from 7 down. He sounded about as enthusiastic as I will on the morning of my first colonoscopy. Unfortunately it seems that Jay Bay is following in his footsteps when it comes to showing any emotion whatsoever.

Tim McCarver/Joe Buck

Could there be a more awful game calling duo out there? Joe Buck has two things going for him: his dad's legacy and his voice. His condescending attitude is apparent within 2 minutes of the first pitch and his inability to criticize any umpires, managers or MLB executives is reaching legendary proportions. God forbid a ball bounces three times and is called a strike - he might actually have to acknowledge an ump's mistake!

The NFL has realized that Buck is a dud and have attempted to make it right by pairing him with Troy Aikman. Unfortunately MLB has done just the opposite and teamed him with Tim McCarver, who makes Joe Morgan look like a master orator. McCarver seems to make a game of each broadcast where he throws a bunch of baseball phrases in a hat and just pulls from it at random times. Paying him to speak makes as much sense as paying me to walk around shirtless.

A Lack of Remy/Orsillo Giggle Fits

There is nothing better than coming home on a Tuesday night, turning the Sox on, and listening to Rem-Dog and Don giggle like school girls on Valentine's Day. These attacks usually last an inning or two and make no sense, but are too funny to get irritated by.

Other than that, this has been a pretty good post season so far. It'd be great to see Amalie Benjamin and Rem-Dog get the nationwide airtime that Orsillo has, but I'm sure that will come in time.

A picture is worth...

A quick run down of life recently - I'll keep it short:

• The hair is long. As is the beard. Some may say Uni-bomber-esque.
• My fantasy football team (Chady's Buckets) is kicking some ass. I think it is because of the team uniforms.
• The girl has yet to wisen up, so she's still around.
• And life of late is resembling the former phrase of my blog title rather than the latter.

Luckily, this has all been captured in one glorious photo:
Ta ta for now...

-Chad