The Greatest Game Ever Played

The recent move to New York has marked many changes in my life - most notably the official status update to "living in sin" (which has been pointed out by at least 2 of Mia Manda's relatives - one of which told her to "be careful" so as not to get "sent away").

Such sharing of space requires patience and consideration, both of which I greatly lack:

• Wall hangings must be agreed upon
  
• Furniture must be laid out in mutually agreeable locations
  
• DVR recordings must be scheduled so as not to accidentally delete shows slandering men while reassuring women that fat asses are too be cherished, not pointed and laughed at.

For the most part, major arguments have been avoided. The girl has great taste, I have none. Our TV shows don't overlap. We enjoy each others' wall hangings. So far, so good.

Through all this harmony and bliss, one major point of contention has emerged. An issue of such magnitude that I am willing to fight to the death before bowing in defeat. An issue that can not only ruin evenings, but friendships, relationships, and possibly even legacies.

An issue that is second only to life and death: How prominently to display Catch Phrase.

For those who may not be familiar, Catch Phrase is a simple game played between two teams. A little plastic disc displays a phrase that needs to be guessed by your teammates without giving the actual phrase as a clue. Overall, it's a pretty simple concept, although phrases like "Gryffindor House", "Shroud of Turin" and "Muslin" (not "Muslim") can prove to be problematic.Fortunately, I'm a world class Catch Phrase player with skills rivaled only by my brothers, and quite honestly, no one else. Many a night have been spent giving clues like "Remember that time..." or "4th place AL East team's AAA affiliate" and hearing the answer echoed in milliseconds. Add to this the fact that many of our competitors give clues like "Uhhhhh...", "Ummmm...", "Come on, you know..." and "Shiiiittt...", and I dare say we would make the best 3 person Catch Phrase team to ever roam the earth. Needless to say, it is all good fun.

Naturally, any game that brings such joy to a household should be prominently displayed - upon a mantle, atop a bookshelf or even encompassed in an air tight case to ensure a lack of tampering with the circuits and integrity of the game.

For some reason, the girl vehemently disagrees.

Apparently, having been crushed by one too many Holmes-rich teams has altered her mental state. Despite my continued attempts to perch the beautifully polished blue and white plastic upon the entertainment center or the dining room table, it is continuously found in easily missed locations. Some may even call them hidden.

While I can only hope that this is a conspiracy between the girl, Hasbro and other Catch Phrasers who feel threatened by my dominance, the thought occurs that she may be the sole driver behind such horrendous suppression. With that being said, if there is a sudden facebook relationship status update with no witty message, feel free to assume that "Emasculate" popped up on Catch Phrase, leading to voices being raised, plastic being smashed and my saying something stupid.

If instead, I disappear and Mia Manda sheds real tears, please conduct a full investigation of the Hasbro word games division.