The Joys of Online Dating

Having recently re-entered the world of dating (both online and, in theory, face-to-face), I vowed not to take anything too fast or serious. I've also decided that since the odds of periodic rejection are fairly high(which is a fair assumption; reference: "my life"), then I might as well have a little fun with it.

Luckily, it turns out that the combination of a few beers, free online dating sites, and a handful of girls that seem semi-interesting can lead to some surprisingly entertaining quotes. While these may not be of the level of my new goto pick up line ("My mom doesn't want me dating a chick with a big ass, but I think she'll make an exception for you..."), I think they are worth repeating to the 3-4 family members that check this jumble of words on a semi-consistent basis.

I'd like to say that the following were all written in jest, alas that would be slightly more than a white lie. These are 100%, honest to goodness lines, that even upon re-reading, I sent to a hot internet babe in hopes of a quick response. Oddly enough, they haven't been all that successful, as my writing this post and playing Black Ops on a Friday night may attest to...

"I'm really good at...Obscure references, misplaced sarcasm and bringing about general awkwardness"

Upon further review, I guess that a night full of obscure references and sarcastic half jokes about a lady's appearance may not be all that appealing. I guess guys just don't get bonus points for good old honesty like they used to.

"I've been roaming the streets looking for a fight, but haven't had any luck as of late. I'm starting to think I may have to expand my search across the Maine and Mass borders. Where do you usually fight?"

In my defense, this was in response to some chick's stupid super hero joke. Writing "haha, that's funny" is a little too boring for me, so I just decide to take it too far...

"Good choice on the 'God Delusion' - I've been battling with it for the last year off and on. The writing and logic are great, as are Dawkin's conclusions..."

Because first internet 'dates' are supposed to be all about religion and politics, right?

"I have the Glee mix of 'Bust a Move' on my Great Bay half training mix. Top that!"

Typically, I think this one would be a hands down winner. Nothing screams "I'm fabulously stuck in the past" like acknowledging a knowledge, enjoyment and active involvement in the phenomenon that is Glee. Challenging the lovely lady to top such a claim is both an impossible task and somewhat telling statement.

"I've somehow managed to avoid the shift to Python and stuck with Perl as my scripting language of choice."

And the winner...a reference to my preference of an old school scripting language over a young up-and-comer. I actually spent another sentence or two going into more detail, but could not bring myself to copy and paste the shit show of my trying to hit on a hot internet babe of PhD proportions.