San Francisco is FAB-U-LOUS

In what is quickly becoming a periodic pilgrimage to escape the drudgery of every day life, I made my annual journey to the mean streets of the Bay Area for some sun, fun and baseball. Unlike past visits, I wasn't content with the tame combination of Charlie's Taqueria, a drive through Silicon Valley and some poorly played baseball. No, this escape had to be, shall we say, interesting.

With that requirement in mind, it was with great joy that I was able to bum a room from the ever hospitable duo of Dwight and Carol, grab a free plane ticket thanks to frequent flier miles and find a cheap rental car during San Fran's busiest weekend of the year. No, there were no wine festival, or a bunch of techies trekking to Cupertino. Instead, it was Pride weekend, and what a weekend it was.

(Now that you've clicked on the above link, please use this time to utter an oft used expression correctly for maybe the first time ever - "That is so gay...")

While I could ramble on about topless lesbians on Harleys that easily outweighed myself, small Asian men dressed as cupid, or people with breasts and an underwear bulge, I will just let the pictures do the talking...

One other note - It's great to know that even in this "difficult economic climate", there are still jobs to be had.

Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

Like many others that a court of law would consider sane (or at least competent to stand trial), I'm not a big fan of arguments. Unfortunately, any time you spend copious amounts of time with someone that is fun, nice and lets you see them naked, they occasionally arise. Now I'm not one to make light of a serious situation, but every now and then a comedic gem rolls off the tongue of MiaManda that really should be shared with the world.

While I'm 99% sure this is going to get me in some deep crap, I've enjoyed it too much not to share with my loyal stalkers. So without further ado, I present:

The List of Stuff Perceived To Be More Important Than My Girlfriend

• My job (not really)
• My car (it is pretty awesome)
• Golf with my family (depends on the course and which family members)
• My house (um, no)
• And last, but certainly not least...my gas grill (still on the fence about this one)

While she got the list pretty accurate, she neglected to mention the Red Sox, a visit to the Harp at least once a season and hummus. All in all, she knows her place pretty well though.

Fat Men Running

A great record has fallen. One that lasted nearly 2 years, was targeted by many (at least 3), but untouchable by all.

That's right, the Holmes family half marathon record has been surpassed. And not only did it fall, but it hit the ground like an Irishman trying to jump a fence on March 17th. So to my younger brother, congrats on a 1:44 showing (just under 8 min/mile) at the Fredericton Half Marathon. An 8 minute pace is impressive in any race, never mind one of such a distance.

In a congratulatory gesture, here is a photo of you skipping over the finish line like the little girl you are:

Hats off to Janine as well, who dominated the 10k in under 58 minutes. We can all agree that her finishing picture is much more masculine than the "man" with whom she lives in sin:

Of course, this blog would be nothing without a little self promotion, so here is a joyous me after a 1:56 (9min/mile) finish. Not bad for a fat man.

And finally, big props to MiaManda. Over 20 hours in a car with my family over 3 days and not one person was slapped, kicked or stabbed. This was possibly the greatest endurance feat of the weekend. I offer you this picture with the hottest man in the world as your award.

My Special Skill - Making Any Situation Awkward

I'll keep this short and sweet. I went for a great 7 mile run in Mine Falls Park on Sunday - and absolutely great spot for a sunny afternoon jog. While rocking out to semi-obscure Ben Folds songs (specifically "Rent-A-Cop"), I decided to screech along.

Luckily, at the very instance I was being passed by an unseen dude on a mountain bike, I puffed out one of the best lyrics ever written:

"Hey baby, baby light that ass on fire".

Yeah, he rode a little faster after he heard that.

Shorty Got Low

As anyone who has witnessed one of my outings at Harp knows, I have some pretty unique dance moves. My rug cutting skills are somewhere between football player and epileptic, so any demos of what I should be doing are greatly appreciated.

So it was with great joy that I came across this video on Barstool Sports the other day. This kid is just brilliant.



So to this child's parents - my hat is off to you. You might want to buy a little penicillin for when he gets older.

Is Nothing Sacred?

I'm as much of a fan of a good April Fool's gag as the next gent, but there are some things that should not be touched. At the top of my list: Unwanted Pregnancy.

So I was less than amused when the current girl sent this little bundle of humor my way:

While I've been assured it is just a joke, Mia Manda better watch herself. Such jokes will lead to me balled up in a corner, mumbling "no, god, why me?" while weeping and rocking for hours on end.

And to the good folks at someecards - well done!

I Like Sportz

In honor of the second best time of year (only behind October baseball) I submit a video that reflects my feelings on sports while also accurately depicting my complete inability to master any activity requiring more effort than tapping a keyboard.

Courtesy of the geniuses at The Lonely Island