Day 21: The Grandest of Canyons

Last I reported in with my ever insulting fan base, I had driven nearly 800 uneventful miles across the Mojave desert in the middle of the night. The journey left me at a KOA just an hour short of the Grand Canyon with high hopes of an equally grand day.

The morn began with a quick tour of Williams, AZ through which the fabled Route 66 (where it is rumored you can get your kicks) runs through. The most amazing thing about Williams is how genuine the locals are - these are real cowboys at their best. I felt like I was at a denim, spur and 10 gallon hat convention. There was a rodeo. Everyone walked around with their thumbs in their belt loops. The men actually tipped their hats when ladies passed by. It was like my trip to Six Gun City when I was a wee lad, but with a higher temperature and a lower BMI.

After a delicious breakfast at the Pine Country Restaurant, I was ready to really start the day. Much to my chagrin, I soon learned that I was entering the park at noon on a Sunday (I'd kinda lost track of what day it was at this point) along with nearly every other vacationer in the world. Overall this was a very positive day, so I don't want to harp too much on my hatred towards the irritating people that make up about 90% of our population, but I figure I can squeeze a couple comments in:

• No, it's not horrible that you have to walk almost 200 yards to actually see the canyon.
• Also, your child probably shouldn't be chasing that king sized snickers with a 10 piece Kit-Kat.
• Really, it is ok to not push me while I'm in line for the bathroom.
• And finally, a 6 mile hike should not be done in a skirt and flip flops.

Now that my negativity towards tourists is out of the way (I'm one of the tolerable ones for the record), I can actually report on the Grand Canyon. This is one of the sights that was more impressive than I expected. It is wide. It is deep. It is colorful. It is hot. All in all, it is just amazing. In order to fully enjoy it in the few hours I had, I decided to hike part of the Bright Angel Trail (thanks for the tip Mom and Scott). This is an amazing trail that combines the beauty of the south rim with historic hieroglyphs and throws in a great workout to boot. I ended up going down to the 3 mile rest house and back (6 miles total) in a little over three hours. Other than donkey droppings here and there, it was an entirely enjoyable trip.

Once I triumphantly reached the trail head I decided to get ahead on my driving and head to Zion for the night.

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The desert drive was much like the others - boring, fast and uneventful. Luckily, the fuzz weren't out and I was able to get to Zion just before sunset. If this park is described as breathtaking in the day time, I have no idea how to describe it at sunset. The orange rock faces turn pink, the sky turns orange and nature seems to be working together to say "Screw IMAX, we got it all right here." The drive through the park took me about an hour, during which "Damn", "Jeezuz" and "Holy <insert your favorite naughty word here>" were uttered numerous times. As I've said before, the pics just can't do it justice, but I've posted a few anyway.

As the night grew old, I finally crashed at one of the Zion campgrounds. Unfortunately, the park doesn't provide showers and it was too dark to take a dip in the river. Added to the fact that I thought the lines were too long at the Grand Canyon to get a shower, and it goes without saying that I was very ripe. Some advice - if you ever find yourself in this position, just sleep in your Under Armour. Otherwise the odor brought about by a 3 hour hike in triple digit temperatures will escape, leading children to vomit, vultures to circle, and stoners to ask "What is that smell"?

Next stop in my travels: Denver