Day 9: Bears, Fat Kids and Pepperoni Sticks

As you may have noticed, this little vacation I am taking involves a lot of driving. We have already eliminated one day earlier in the trip so we could hike the Badlands. We decided to do the same today in order to have a day off before I have three days of straight ferry riding.

The morning started at 5 am Mountain Time in Jasper, Alberta and ended about 13 hours and nearly 700 miles later in Prince Rupert, BC.

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On a trip of this magnitude, you find a lot of things to keep you busy. After exhausting my iPod play lists (especially James Taylor, Ben Folds, Barenaked Ladies and Jimmy Buffet) and many of my pod casts (This American Life, Car Talk and The Junkies), I decided to start jotting down some of my observations for your enjoyment:

Convenience Stores

These things go by a variety of names - Gas Stations, C-Stores, Kum-N-Go (yes, really) and offer even more services. Where else can you eat 3 day old hot dogs, buy flavored, colored condoms (and the pills that help get the job done) in a bathroom, get 2 jumbo kit kats for $1.19, and of course, work with wonderful people and pepperoni sticks?

Unless there is some kind of candy, processed meat and erection related products emporium, I think the Convenience Stores have this market cornered.

Bears

I know, I hit on it yesterday, but when you leave a campground one morning with this being the last thing you see, then you can over-write about it too.

And without bears, I never would have been able to utter this statement to my bro: "I will sleep with your girlfriend so bears don't eat the dog." Yes, it was entirely innocent and there was logic behind it, but I'll let you guess on what that logic may be.

Drive Throughs

I'd say this could only happen in America, but it was actually in British Columbia. The picture does more justice than I ever could with words.

I was as giddy as a fat kid at a breakfast buffet when I got this pic.

Tomorrow is a slacker day where my brother and I will be supporting the local Indian Casino while exploring Prince Rupert. Then off to Ketchikan and Metlakatla on Thursday.

Day 8: Help Me Colbert - You're My Only Hope*

There aren't a lot of things that can throw me for a complete loop. Must stuff I can take in stride and you'd never even notice me flinch - mostly thanks to the demands of consulting which have transformed my nerves from goo to steel (or at least aluminium, as the Canucks say). Every now and then though, someone will utter a semi-coherent thought that totally surprises me or freaks me out. Off the top of my head, here are a few that I have heard lately:

• (In a loud whisper)"You're card is being denied"
• "There is increased bear activity in the campground."
• "Don't let the dog out since it will attract bears."
• "Don't wear deodorant, use toothpaste, apply cosmetics or breath, since it will attract bears"
• "Did I mention the bears in this campground?"
• "No, our wireless is not working"

As you can guess, a few of those perked my ears and made me clench my sphincter. Luckily the card was just being protected by my bank, and the bears have yet to eat me as of this writing. The final comment was just a horrible thought though. No internet! For a whole day! And no cell service to check my email!? I nearly cried - I'm man enough to admit it. I think a tear or two may have slipped out.

Luckily, a 10 hour drive landed us in Jasper, Alberta, Canada - which the local website assures me is a "gateway to some of the most majestic, pristine and accessible wilderness Canada has to offer".

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As my travel companions and I explored the tourist trap that was main street, I saw my salvation - an internet cafe offering affordable rates and a power outlet. I quickly plopped my rotund rump in a well worn chair and got my high speed fix. All was good in the world.

And it is from this internet cafe that I now write to you - my dozens of loyal readers who seem to take enjoyment in the stew that is my brain. You will all be glad to know that the trip continues and we are aiming for Prince Rupert, BC tomorrow (one day early to take a much needed break from driving).

And what would a post be without pictures:

Some more ridiculously bluish-green water.


The water with its' friend, Mr. Mountain


Big Blue driving towards Big Mountain


That Guy


Beware of humping bears???


Q&A appears to be a popular subject, so send in those questions (trip related, or otherwise). I'll be posting some more answers soon (including a discussion of my grooming habits - Watch Out!).


*You should get at least one of these two geek references. Bonus points for both.

Day 2: Catholic School Girls (this should get my hit count up!)

There is nothing quite like a red bull in the morning. Except maybe 2. Used to chase a latte. A really big latte. After a 4 mile run. And so was the start of Day 2. Despite the long Day 1 and a warm night in the tents, we were back on the road towards Alaska. (Side note: A friend pointed out that green tea is much healthier. I agree, but you try to stock green tea in a cooler meant for beer. Not easy.)


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An hour into the drive, we passed the Hall of Fame that you only thought couldn't exist. That's right - the Recreational Vehicle and Manufactured Housing Hall of Fame. Now, I may have an active imagination, but not even I could make this up. This is an actual 80,000 square foot space dedicated to celebrating "Affordable Housing". I just don't know what else to say - the site says it all.

Just down the road from that gem was South Bend, IN. The home of the College Football Hall of Fame. While I was unaware of this, it did not surprise me all that much. Of course, this was skipped due to time constraints in order to focus on a brief tour of the Notre Dame Campus.


All I can say is "Wow". An absolutely amazing campus. It is clean, the buildings are big and impressive, the history is well known. More importantly, the girls are old enough, repressed enough, smart enough and Catholic enough to make college a lot of fun. I would say that I will be sending my first born son here, but as my brother pointed out, that requires a mate to breed with, and, well, most of us know how that is going (maybe romantic thoughts like that are helping to hold me back...)



After a hair raising 2 hour stop on the Chicago "Express Highway" in which we traveled a total of 20 miles we zoomed west towards the KOA in Rochester, MN. If you are ever in need of such lodging in this beautiful area, I highly recommend the KOA. It has a pool, foosball table, clean bathrooms and WiFi. That's right - the same things that impress a 12 year old impress me. Add boobies to that previous sentence and I think you have it all.

All in all, a stressful, but productive day. 623 total miles in right around 11 hours despite the troubles in Chicago. The extra driving has paid off - we have already knocked a day from the trip which we are using to hike in the Badlands (where we are driving tomorrow). Mmmmmmm...

A couple side notes:
1. I am driving the Saab solo. My bro, his girlfriend and their dog are in the FJCruiser and leading the way. We communicate by walkie talkie to avoid dead spots in the cell coverage. Walkie Talkies are awesome ("Roger that", "ten-four", "over and out", "big dog" and "breaker breaker one nine" have been uttered roughly 723 times in two days.)

2. I know my HTML - I was just lazy. I'll try to remember to make the links pop up in new windows from now on. On that note - HTML is NOT A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE - it is simply a markup language. If you ever speak with or interview someone who says "I program in HTML" punch them. Hard.

3. Feel free to leave comments - anonymous or otherwise. I'll try to respond to any requests. Also, feel free to share the blog with anyone who might enjoy it. I get quite a kick out of the life I lead, so I might as well share that with others.

Leg 1: Coast to Coast the Saab Way

While I've been trying to convince myself that a 10,000 mile jaunt can in fact be a laid back, relaxed, worry free venture, this may not entirely be the case. Between a bevy of pink, alcohol infused beverages this past weekend, my travel mates for leg 1 of this sure to be epic tail pulled me aside and got me to start doing some planning.

I've come up with a rough, 10 day outline that will get us from Skowhegan, ME, the home of Margaret Chase Smith, The Skowhegan State Fair and Guitar Hero Legend Chaz Holmes (no relation) to Metlakatla, AK, the home of...I'll get back to you on that one.

Here's a little breakdown of this part of the journey. Don't stop believing that it will be a blast. (See what I did there with the Journey reference. Yeah, I'm good.)

	Date	Start Location	End Location	Miles	Time	Notes
Day 0	Sunday, July 13	Skowhegan, ME	Pelham, NH	186	3:20
Day 1	Monday, July 14	Pelham, NH	Brockton, NY	516	8:38
Day 2	Tuesday, July 15	Brockton, NY	Portage, IN	449	7:33	Lunch at Notre Dame
Day 3	Wednesday, July 16	Portage, IN	Martin County, MN	504	8:32	There is literally NO reason to stop in Martin, except that we must sleep at some point. Sorry to the good folks of Martin (both of you) for my bluntness
Day 4	Thursday, July 17	Martin, MN	Badlands National Park, SD	392	6:19	Major National Park #1 AND Mt. Rushmore!
Day 5	Friday, July 18	Badlands National Park, SD	Yellowstone National Park, WY	590	11:14	I am trembling with anticipation for this stop. I think I just peed a little.
Day 6	Saturday, July 19	Yellowstone	Yellowstone	0	0	Hiking Day!!!
Day 7	Sunday, July 20	Yellowstone	Glacier National Park, MN	431	9:56
Day 8	Monday, July 21	Glacier National Park	Jasper, Alberta	440	9:54	This drive will go directly through Banff National Park of Canada. Starting to notice the theme yet?
Day 9/10	Tues/Wed, July 22/23	Jasper, Alberta	Prince Rupert, BC	679	13:09	Lots of mountains, moose and Canadians. Which pose the greatest threats?
Day 11	Thursday, July 24	Prince Rupert, BC	Metlakatla, AK	???	???	Ferry travel between the Southern Alaskan Islands

Total miles for this leg? Just short of 4,200. No, it is not the quickest route, but the views will be better than a spring day on the Chapel Hill quad.

Up next, "Leg 2: Salmon, Coffee and Sushi. America's Left Coast"

Give 'er a Go

Ah, the world of blogging. The last barrier between my deep dark secrets being known to only a few and being cached by Google for many future generations to see. The place where new friends can learn of my past, old friends can learn of my present and potential dates can be quickly scared away. Ultimately, it may be my gateway to fame and fortune, or my kick to poverty and despair. Only time will tell.

In the future weeks I'll be documenting my upcoming drive to the southern islands of Alaska from the calm of New Hampshire, and the long road back. There will be some great pictures, maybe an interesting story or two, and a journal of a month long break that couldn't come soon enough.

Can I keep it interesting? Hopefully. Will other people find me as funny as I find myself? Probably not. Will I piss people off because I have no common sense or sense of privacy? Almost absolutely.

So sit back, subscribe, stalk and enjoy.

-Chad