Days 13: No internet!!! - Q and As

I'm probably stuck in a ferry somewhere between Metlakatla and Vancouver, so I figured I'll throw a little Q and A your way...

1. My Mom
You guys seem to love her. She rocks (that should about fill my quota of good stuff to get all my Christmas presents this year). The fact that she confused Colbert (as in Steven) with Cobalt (the old school programming language) is damn impressive. The feats of teaching 3 aerobics classes a day, working with people of all ages to help them live a healthier life and doing it for next to nothing is unheard of. She bugs the hell out of my brother's and I, but everyone else loves her to death. What can I say - there could be much worse, but not much better (that should get me an extra LL Bean gift card in December). And for the record - her fiancee is a damn saint for putting up with her.

2. My grooming habits
You guys asked, so I'll show and tell. I haven't cut the mop top in a while, and I don't plan to anytime soon. There are no girls in the picture to strongly suggest that I should and work doesn't really require it. I also haven't shaved for a while, so here is the overall effect:

I haven't come this close to looking homeless since the night a certain friend locked me out of his apartment and I had to sleep with the Boston street people for 30 minutes or so.

Don't worry - I'm still flossing, brushing, gargling, clipping and trimming. And I make sure my "If you are reading this, we both have some big problems" tramp stamp is nice and clean every morning.

3. The "Day 8: Help Me Colbert - You're My Only Hope" geek references
One is a reference to Stephen Colbert's campaign against bears. The quote itself is a reference to the message that Princess Leia sends to Obi Wan in "Star Wars" - "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope."

4. "I will sleep with your girlfriend so bears don't eat the dog"
This was more a solution to a real life logic problem than anything. Here are the hints:

• All sites can have one car and two tents, or two cars and one tent, but not two cars and two tents
  
• All dogs must be kept in cars so bears don't smell them
  
• Bears could well eat dogs they smell
  
• Someone should be in the car with the dog
  
• The dog is too excited to sleep when my bro's girlfriend is around

See - totally innocent, but well worth repeating.

5. Mount Holmes
Hell - if that is a command to the FGOCs, then I'm all for it. In fact, maybe I should start selling "I hope to be a Future Gal of Chad" t-shirts, visors and panties. I'm just happy to have a mountain named after someone that might be a very distant relative.

I'll be back in the continental US soon enough, so look for another post soon. And I'll soon be able to text and phone again once I am back. So if you've missed hearing from me, I'll make sure you don't feel that way much longer in just a few days.