Day 14: Ewoks, Olympics and Customs Searches

I'll be the first to admit I'm more than a bit of an oddity - it's very difficult to put me in any one bucket. This was readily apparent while I was in college - I was as smart as the Computer guys, but played basketball, so that didn't group didn't fit. Unfortunately, I was pretty damn bad at basketball, so I didn't fit with those guys either. I wasn't a drinker, so no frats for me, but I'm not religious or retarded, so no church or young republican groups either. I ended up settling with a pretty unique group of friends who have gone on to become slum lords, consultants, auditors, and in the best career change ever, a programmer turned folk-rock cellist.

I've also had a difficult time finding towns that feed my many interests and odd ball desires. The greater Boston area is giving it a good go, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to check out the west coast in the second leg of this journey. My first stop: Vancouver!

I was lucky enough to approach the city of Vancouver from Vancouver island, which is a brief 2 hour ferry ride away. The approach is an amazing array of treed hills and exposed rocks jutting from the water. The city definitely has beauty on it's side, as well as free health care in exchange for 50% of your annual income and your American citizenship.

During ride from Nanimo to Horseshoe Bay I was able to read up on Vancouver by way of the conveniently provided flyers placed every other yard throughout the ship. While I didn't have time to kayak or hike, I did have half a day to check out some of the attractions.

Stop 1 - The Capilano Suspension Bridge

Honestly, you tell a 12 year old that there is a 450 foot long suspension bridge that sways as you walk and you'll have a kid sprinting to terrify tourists. You tell a 28 year old "man" the same thing, and the fat bastard will jump in his car, run down a few Germans as a warm up and have the time of his life.

Of course, what good would such an attraction be without a little surprise (other than the $30 entry fee)? Usually you get a free picture, or a key chain. Not here - they go all out. They provide a freakin' Ewok-esque tree top village to walk through.

I was honestly expecting a dozen Ewoks to sprint out and hand me a light saber, followed by a team of Wookies to give me back up against the dark side. As is life, such dreams rarely come true, and that was definitely the case here. Luckily I was in good spirits and left a very happy man.


Stop 2 - Downtown
The first thing you notice about Vancouver is how active the city is. Every road has a bike and jogging lane. There are various forms of exercise equipment in, on or around nearly every car you see. The streets aren't filled with large walking eggplants, but instead with people that make you want to say "Yeah, he must work out".

The city itself is quite nice. There are numerous intellectual buildings (museums, libraries, etc) that I quickly walked past, although the Art Gallery had an interesting looking anime/comic/video game display that was not open when I sauntered by.


There are also a ton of displays for the upcoming 2010 Olympics.

The buildings themselves were unusual - they looked like normal skyscrapers, but are much shorter. It is as if concrete were poured over the first 50 floors of an entire city, leaving the exposed top 10-20 floors for use. It's not a bad look, just unexpected.

Stop 3 - Homeward Bound
While living in such a city must be nice, I must still return to my country of origin for weather over 60 degrees. Luckily, the border patrol is a mere hour drive south of the city. I've only been to Canada once before this trip, so I'm not familiar with driving check points. I was kind of expecting a warm reception - something along the lines of "You're back! Great to have you! How was Canada?" to spring from the mouth of an overly welcoming agent. This was certainly not the case.

As you may know, appearances are sometimes used to identify threats to our country. If you are going to cross an American border anytime soon, I would recommend avoiding:

• 3 weeks of facial hair that doesn't quite grow as it should
  
• Smelling like someone who has not washed for 3 days
  
• Red, baggy eyes, greeeeesy (NSFW) hair, bad breath
  
• A license plate held in place by a 4 inch bolt screwed into a 2 inch hole
  
• 7 years worth of red bull, granola bars and water in your back seat
  
• Maps, tour guides and directions for nearly every conceivable path across the United States
  

Once the 10 minutes of questioning and 15 minutes of searching my car for narcotics was complete, I was free to go on my way.

All in all, Vancouver wasn't bad. Not the most exciting day trip, but definitely a nice place to live or visit for a long weekend.

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Next stop Seattle...